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No compromise by Reuben Lowing

It is amazing how the Lord talks to us, I’ve been reading “Non-Compromise Leadership” by Neil Ducoff and “Destined for Greatness” by Kelly Hill.  Both of these books emphasize the consequences of compromising.  I have a habit of when I feel bullied that I’ll just clam up and not make a sound, I will get in my shell and just wait for the onslaught to pass, up until I just can’t stand it anymore and I’ll blow up.  Both responses are a compromise.  What I’ve figured out from the authors of these books is that problems don’t just go away when you don’t deal with them, they usually come back stronger and more persistent and when you shut them down, they don’t go away either.  I heard it said, “You can only get negative when the horse is in the barn”.  Very few incidences, the military and in prison are the only ones I can think of this strategy can work.

I went to Mass on Sunday at the Mission and I get there after the prepared readings and homily, before the communion.  So I ended up going to the Brazilian Fest in Pacific Beach and then I went back to Mass at 5:30PM and the first reading was in the book of Exodus when God took Moses and the Jews out of Egypt and to the promise land and the Jews were afraid to enter into the land and voted not to enter in as God had comanded.  The Lord was highly upset and prepared to turn the whole nation of Israel into a pile of smoldering ashes until Moses brought to his attention that if he were to do so, no other nation would follow him.  So the Lord decided not to smite them but make them wander the desert for 40 years until all those who lacked faith passed away, except Joshua and Caleb before he let them take the land.  Then in the reading from Paul he talked about not forcing people to have faith but pray for them and work with the ones who respond.  The final reading was out of the book Luke and Christ talked about preaching to the sinners and he asked, “If you had 100 sheep, would leave the 99 to find the lost lamb?”  He went on to talk about women who had ten coins and lost one and swept the whole house to find the last coin and celebrated with her neighbors.  He again spoke about the prodigal son who took his inheritance early and squandered it on wine women and song in a foreign land and decided to go back to his father and work as a hired hand and when he returned his father welcomed him and slaughtered the fatted calf for the feast.  His older brother was upset and demanded to know why after being fateful he wasn’t celebrated the same way and his father explained the his brother was dead and lost and now he was found alive.

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This reminded me of my own two boys.  My oldest son, at two years old, gave terrible twos a whole new meaning.  I some how knew that I had to put down his terrorist tirades and I got worried after spanking him three and four times a day, so I called Roy Jones Sr.  I told Roy what was going on and he told me “Don’t spank him so much, the fear of a spanking is much better than actually putting your hand on him”.  Right as I got off the phone with him, it was bath time, he stood in the hall way in a defiant rage said “No!”  I clapped my hands together and began to rub them and said “I’m warming it up!”  His eyes got wide and he ran into the bathroom and jumped into the tub.  After that, I’d either clap my hands together of slap my pant leg and rub it and say “I’m warming it up!” and I didn’t have spank him very often again.

Now when my youngest son was born, if I told him to do something, he’d do it, I might get a little lip but he’d do it.  I figured out that by training my oldest son to mind, my youngest son learned by his example.

Now after observing people I’ve figured out that by sparing the rod and spoiling the child, grief is unleash upon all of society.  There are some children who are so cute and sweet at two years old, they are endearing to everyone and when they have their two-year-old tirades everyone does what ever they can to calm them so they will turn back to that little cutie.  They learn to get what hey want by being nasty if this behavior is not curtailed.  This pattern persists even into adulthood.  They are harsh and scorch the earth in their wake.  So due to political correctness these temperament patterns are going to become more prominent.  So how do you deal with them?  Do you shun them like they did in the SEAL teams or like the lord did in Exodus?  Do you blast them down like a Marine Corps Drill Instructor?  I’ve found that you address bad behavior on the spot!  If you address is immediately, you don’t have to raise your voice, if you point out the error in communication, thought or action that is problematic.  They may not like it but they will see the error of their ways and change their tone and change direction to a better solution.

Waiting to address improper behavior makes in more difficult to correct and rewarding the proper behavior reinforces the proper actions and behavioral responses.  Even when you have a two year old in the body of a 41 year old.

Reuben, grew up in Michigan on the farm, worked really hard, joined the Navy to Box, learned Advanced Electronics and that I didn’t want to do that the rest of my life, Trained under Roy Jones Sr. with Roy Jones Jr., Vince Phillips, Arthur Williams, Derrick Gainer, Shawn Fletcher, Julian Wheeler and Lemul Nelsen just to name a few. I spent 8.5 years as a Navy SEAL, served in the Persian Gulf in the summer of 1988, Panama and Just Cause, Decorated with Valor, Went to Sniper School, Free Fall Jump Master School, Spec-War Communications and designated Master Training Specialist. For more information check him out at http://twitter.com/ReubenLowing

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